This column has been on the standby list for some time. It will likely be amended occasionally as new annoyances and vexations arise. For the time being, this will have to do. The impetus comes from a small and entertaining book called “Junk English .” This is, by no means, a pretense of being an English language expert. But some things that, I think, point to our cultural decline are just head-banging hard to accept.
I will try hard to avoid them. It is too easy to ridicule the overuse of “like .” “I’m like so upset.” Or the word “go.” So I go, you can’t do that. I will also try my best to shake my head at proper punctuation. I’ll leave that to Lynne Truss, a much better teacher. I will highlight instead those annoying things I hear every day in the firm belief that I am not the only one.
In his entertaining book “Junk English,” Ken Smith has a chapter devoted to parasitic modifiers. Here are a few that even he would not have anticipated. Let’s take every politician’s favorite, “the American people.” For example, “I was elected to serve the American people.” “The American people” deserve better. I stand with “the American people. We are here to do the business of the American people.” They all do it, republican, democrat, independent, liberal, and conservative. They do it repeatedly, daily, broadcast after broadcast, and speech after speech. What good, other than sounding inclusive, does adding “people” to the noun, Americans, does it serve. Are there other American beings or entities that are served or more deserving that need to be separated from the declarative? Are there American dogs, cats, or birds that need to be purged from consideration by an audience? A simple “Americans” will do. The word American is inclusive, devoid of race, religion, creed, or even the innumerable genders that apparently now exist. Unless someone can point out that people need to be underscored and separated from other genera or species. I think Americans will do. Forget the modifier.
Another one is the phrase “price point.” Use it if you must, but use it to refer to a range of prices. But even that is suspect. For example, “My price point for a new car is $25,000 to $35,000.” Even that sounds awkward when the word “range” or, better yet, a simple “price” will do. It is incredibly irritating to hear, “Yeah, I only paid $50 for this shirt. I think that’s a really good price point.” How about just a good price. If that must be modified, one could add ‘for that brand” or “for that quality.” The word point is, indeed, parasitic. Purveyors of higher-priced commodities like luxury goods and houses are the suspected originators who added the modifier either to soften the harsh reality of higher prices or to sound more sophisticated and knowledgeable than a prospective buyer.
It is a fact that our culture has become very informal in every aspect. Graceful table manners are gone and, I’m afraid, never to return. Introducing strangers to one another respecting age or seniority is now considered elitism or exclusionary. Our own National Security Strategy prioritizes equity. Not equality but equity and inclusion. We live in an age where we must show we know or are familiar with everything to attest that we understand every topic, from science to culture to behavior. Listen to how often you hear “I know, right” to affirm agreement and inclusion in a tidbit of knowledge. So not only do I already know what you are talking about, but I confirm that you are right.
Read any so-called news website or broadcast on any day, and you will find examples of twisting our language to find new ways to demonstrate importance and knowledge. Today’s gem was a writer emphasizing the seriousness of a potential new COVID strain so severe that it could lead to consequences “up to and including death.” I know, right?
A well-known and respected evening news anchor has a bad habit of introducing video clips with “take a listen.” I really would like to ask, how do I pick it up? Does it have a front, back, or handle? Once I figure that out, how where would you like me to take it? Do I leave the listen there or bring it back? How does all that work? That same anchor also underlines increased numbers by categorizing them as growing exponentially. Numbers grow either arithmetically, geometrically, or exponentially. Exponentially means a number is multiplied by itself over and over (2×2=4, 4×4=16, 16×16, etc). No matter large the illegal immigration numbers get, they are not growing exponentially.
Now, these irritants are not of the magnitude of WW lll or the opioid crisis, but as a kid, I was told if you fix the little things and the big things will take care of themselves.
So, I go like, this might be my place to start.